Saturday, February 23, 2008

Was blind...and now, I see!

I'm relieved to read today that the standard-bearers for Mom, God and Apple Pie, the people who define for the country what true Americanism is, are gearing up to show us the way in this all-important Presidential contest. And I've come to my senses and realized that the true path certainly doesn't lead to Barack Obama, because he has been flunking all their tests in spectacular fashion.

First, his wife, Michele, told a crowd this week that her husband's candidacy makes her proud of her country for the first time in her adult life. In the Real Americans' view of events, America is great, a shining city on the hill, blessed by God, and anyone who doesn't think so is certainly not fit to darken the door of the White House. And that anyone includes spouses of the offending speakers.

Second, Barack Obama himself has the temerity to refuse to wear an American flag lapel pin on his suit jackets. He explained before the Iowa caucasuses that he felt the pins represented patriotism on the cheap, a gesture that absolves the wearer of any tangible efforts to help the country. Well, now, don't you be fooled by that! The flag cheerleaders at Fox News were quick to set us straight by informing us that the Senator in essence had spit on the American standard. He HATES the flag(!!!)

Actually, I thought those flag pins are for the people who tend to forget what country they live in, kind of a crib sheet that the Senator doesn't need himself, but I stand corrected.

And then he was glimpsed WITHOUT HIS HAND OVER HIS HEART during the playing of the National Anthem. It's apparently unthinkable for any American not to press his palm to his chest the minute the National Anthem sounds, anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. I wasn't aware of this, but I guess I know now that I am no real American. I didn't pass this test either.

I know now that I've been so misguided in my support of Senator Obama. I'm grateful to the Real Americans out there for correcting the Senator and myself. I'm going to forget all about the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the rise of China and India, climate change, crumbling infrastructure, global extremism and all the other issues I thought were important. The REAL test of a Presidential candidate, indeed of a Real American, is the degree to which he covers him or herself in glory...OLD GLORY!!!!


Blogger LaPopessa said...

And don't make us tell you again!

What I've wondered about for a while is the evolution of flag patriotism. I remember as a high school student the wearing of the flag on the leg of my pants was considered a desecration. Now we've got American flags decorating just about everything, including thongs and condoms, without a peep of complaint.

Better to hang a flag on one's shlong than not to wear one on one's lapel?

How far we've come.

3:55 PM  
Blogger buckarooskidoo said...

I think maybe that would be an interesting subject of inquiry, the evolution of flag patriotism...a conference paper-in-the-making, perhaps?

Every country seems to have a variant of this...the Russians call it kvasnoi patriotizm, by the terms of which Russia is above criticism, all border nations must do what Russia tells them to and whatever Russia does abroad must be applauded, lest the critics find themselves staring down the barrel of Red Army guns. In this version, all you have to do to be patriotic is quaff kvas...which actually takes a lot of intestinal fortitude, come to think of it.

5:38 PM  
Blogger LaPopessa said...

Reminds me of the months after 9/11 when just about ever cab driver I saw whose accent pegged them even slightly as not born here had plastered American flags on windows and dashboards of their cab.

6:31 PM  
Blogger TomCat said...

I expect this kind of smear from the Reich, because they have to do something to keep their sheeple worked up in a frenzy, and they can't use authentic issues to do so, because they lose every time.

Now, I'm an Edwards supporter who has not yet decided between Clinton and Obama, so I have no partisan axe to grind here, but it upsets me to see these same smears showing up on pro-Clinton blogs. We on the left should be above such nonsense and base our disagreements on issues.

5:39 PM  

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