The Witless Wisdom of Chairman Pat

-- on the U.S. Constitution: "There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore." (Nov. 1993) [uh, Pat, ever actually READ the Constitution? "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."]

-- on GW Bush: "The Lord has just blessed him. . . . I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and come out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad." (Jan 2, 2004). [Well, ok, he does have a point here, it really doesn't seem to make any difference how bad Bush gets in Pat's world.]

-- on Jews. Surprisingly, they're ok with Pat. At least in the government. "Individual Christians are the only ones really -- and Jewish people, those who trust God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob -- are the only ones that are qualified to have the reign, because hopefully, they will be governed by God and submit to Him." January 11, 1985.

--on rewriting history. When asked for TIME magazine about the quote above, Pat responded, "I never siad that in my life ... I never said only Christiains and Jews. I never said that." Uh Pat, remember, when you say these things, there is this magical thing called a ''camera' that is recording it.

But forget the Jews - apparently my family of Methodists and others like us are a bigger threatt.

--on Methodists. "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist. I can love the people who hold false opinions but I don't have to be nice to them.” January 1991.

You know, I went to church a lot when I was a kid, and I don't remember our Methodists ministers inviting us to join the Antichrist, but then again, I could have missed it while daydreaming or reading the weekly news. Then again, I've apparently been too busy practicing witchcraft. Not sure if it's a special Methodist Antichrist methodist, but hey, maybe I'm just in denial. Then again, I have spent some of my efforts trying to destroy capitalism. Mostly by trying to shop it into submission.

-- on women. "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." from a fundraising letter, 1992.